She fumbled with the door knob a little more than usual, and stepped inside into a cluttered room. The couch had yesterday’s laundry waiting to be folded and the dinner plates were still on the table.
He turns around from the kitchen counter, unshaven and hair tousled, coffee mug in hand and raises his eyebrow while taking a deep sip.
“Want a cup?”
“Yes actually, I could use one.”
He turns and looks around for a fresh mug, rinses out one from the sink and proceeds to empty out the coffee pot. She grimaces ever so slightly but doesn’t say anything. Removes a shirt away from the stuffed chair by the window and falls into it. Pulls her knees in and hugs herself, rests her head back and closes her eyes.
“Here”
“Thanks” and she takes a big gulp out of the mug, ignoring the stains outside.
“You look a sight. All okay?”
“Yeah, am okay. Am always okay.”
“Yes, that you are.” He settles down on the couch, barely pulling out a few clothes from under him to find a comfortable place as he stretches his legs and checks his phone.
Silence
He grunts looking at the phone. “Heh, so an idiot threw himself on the tracks in the morning rush hour and killed himself. Selfish bastard!”
“Huh?”
“Yes, he wants to die, it’s his life, why disrupt a ton of other normal folks who are trying to make a decent day of their lives. Track jumpers are the worst of the suicide troop.”
“Wow, someone’s very kind and compassionate this morning. Is it the coffee? Coz I could use some of that as I face my day.”
He grins at her and places his mug and phone down, smiles at her and says, “Am all ears”
She blurted. “I know you said to wrap it, but I just couldn’t do that.”
He nods, staring right into her face, without a change in expression.
She was looking down into her mug, and continued, “I couldn’t wrap it.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t have the nerve.”
“No. You do. What was it?”
She snaps at him angrily, looking into his eyes, “Shut up! There is nothing else. I just couldn’t. I love the ass.”
“Ok”
He picks up his coffee mug and takes a sip.
“He is an ass. I agree. I just can’t tell him off. Am afraid. For him, for me. This will change everything. Am not sure if am ready for change. I am so tired, and I just want things to be. I wish my head listened to my heart, and will allow things to just be. I love the guy, to bits. His faults to how he loves me. He loves me. You do believe that don’t you?”
“How does it matter if I believe in that or not? You do, that’s all that matters. You don’t need my approval.”
“Oh great, now my friend is being a jerk too.”
“Men are jerks. We all are. Just differently. To different people, and according to what suits our selfish fancy.”
She looks at him, tears dancing at the edge waiting to topple down and in a torrent. The pent up emotions of the days before threatening to rain down and force her to act.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t. You can’t cry over him. He hasn’t been good to you. You surely deserve better. Plus, I can’t think straight if you start and at this point, one of us has to.”
She looks away nodding her head.
They both stare through the window, at the soft spring rain. The distant roads getting blacker with each drop. The trees getting greener.
After what seemed an eternity, he asks “Scrabble? I’ll let you beat me.” He teases her with a smile.
“Let me? heh, you bet your smart ass if I don’t thwack it out this window! Bring it on!”
M U Z J I K S
She grins and rubs her hands in glee. “128 points, and we are just getting warm”
He grins back at her.
“Welcome back”
