maturity

….sinks low at a slow pace, I am told.

Saturday afternoon with the mind in complete confused state on which of the list of events laid out in front of us as a family needed priority, the husband pops the most mundane question.

He: Any groceries you need, am stepping out.

Me: eh? *woken from my deep meditative state of mind*

He: Groceries? The stuff that we need to eat?

Me: Right.  Groceries. Do we need any? *puzzled look*

He: I donno, you tell me. I have milk and bread on my list. *looks at me, pausing*

Me: hmm.. no, no vegetables. No desi stuff. *looking towards the open pantry door*

He: No vegetables? Does that mean we have no vegetables or we don’t need vegetables?

Me: It means we don’t need to buy any vegetables. *mind still occupied with my to-do list*

He: Ah, then you say “We have vegetables.” Positive. Not double negatives.

Me: Right. *throwing him a raised eyebrow and not wanting to draw this further*

He: Okay, so nothing else? Good.

Me: Wait. Pasta. Spaghetti and elbows.

He: Okay. What else?

Me: Nothing else.

He: Sugar?

Me: eh? Sugar?

He: Yes, sugar.

Me: No, no sugar.

He: Yes, there is no sugar.

*Spar-stares for the next 10 seconds, in which mine is bewildered and his is patient*

He: Look behind you.

Me: *refusing to look behind me* Why? What’s behind me?

He: The sugar jar is empty.

Me: Oh. But there’s tons of sugar in the pantry.

He: No, we don’t.

Me: Yes we do.

He: No, we don’t. I checked. *Edge in his voice*

Me: What do you mean you checked? It’s right there. *swinging the door open and reaching in*

He: It’s there?

Me: I know it is. *now on my knees checking usual shelf and not finding it* What? Of course it isn’t where I placed it coz you’re always shuffling things around my space!

He: No I don’t shuffle, only thing I care for in there is the cereal.

Me: *still with my head inside* Yea sure, who meddles with the chips on the top, the other day the salsa just perched itself in here. It must have felt very cold in the refrigerator?

He: Oh, so we need a new bottle of salsa. *jotting it down*

Me: WHAT? Why would we?

He: I donno about you but am not dipping my chip in a bowl of warm salsa.

Me: I have a new bottle in the refrigerator. *glaring*

he: Okay. So we done. What about that sugar?

Me: I really am quite positive that the sugar pack walked itself into the refrigerator or maybe even the garage and if I search for it, I will find it.

He: I searched. We don’t have the sugar.

Me: We do! *stubbornly refusing to admit otherwise*

He: No we don’t.

Me: Yes we do, somewhere.

Daughter speaks out from her corner on the couch:

“You know Madre and Padre, I am in middle school and the 12-13 year old boys are the most difficult people to deal with. Very immature and can talk for hours without meaning a thing. This conversation, very mature I must say. Dad – buy that sugar. Mom – search for that sugar. Good luck in finding it. Dad – if mom does find it, we can perhaps save that sugar pack for the time we are snowed in and we have to make a meal out of that whole sugar pack, like pure sugar cookies?

Done! Now can I get back some silence while I deal with this really terrible juvenile Math SOL review paper that I need to complete? Thank you.”

***

I don’t think I thank the daughter enough.