marriage meme

Strangely this is the only tag, I haven’t actually been tagged with. I chose to do it. All the mush factor and me swimming knee-deep in it must be making me soft in the head. Or maybe it’s the age, or maybe it’s the post a day that’s completely squishing every creative cell in my feeble brain, and am grabbing onto little straws stuck as drafts in the dashboard.

Either way I’d stumbled upon this a while ago on my hops and had saved it for a rainy day.

Here’s the low down on the husband and me. Read further for a fairy tale [not!] wedding.

1. Where / how did you meet?
O, it was the good old setup. We were to meet the evening of March 31st as I was told that morning. I purposely stayed back eating dosas at the cafeteria along with the new intern docs up until 6 pm. Rode back home to find my mom fuming [which I absolutely enjoyed] and dad missing. We get a call saying the train he was coming in was delayed and so perhaps we may not meet that evening. Watch some Bold & Beautiful, had a nice dinner and was promptly in bed by 9 pm.

Mom wakes me up saying “guess what, they are coming home.” O joy. I dragged myself out, draped a sari and looked like I rolled out of bed. (no pun there). He came home, we sat, we spoke, we laughed, and he nodded and said “am good” and I said “same here” and he said goodnight and left. I went back to my room and slept.

To this day we wonder who became a bigger fool, as we got engaged the next day.

2. How long have you known each other?
Seems like a lifetime.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
Are you kidding me? Dating? What dating? Would ‘rt away’ be acceptable an answer?

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
Well, in our case we got engaged and then dated, as in counted off dates.

5. How long was your engagement?
Not long enough. As in, folks couldn’t wait to get us married off.

6. How long have you been married?
A lifetime. What?! I protest. Of course it’s a time period!

7. What is your anniversary?
My anniversary is normal. Just like every desi‘s anniversary is. We get up, make a huge meal, eat, then go visit a temple and secretly have conversations with the idols, pretty much saying “o wow, don’t let me be alone, stay with us till the end“, then we’d go out for dinner and say the same to each other. If there’s a kid or two (or three in my case), it would be another dinner where halfway through one of us would get upset at the other and use the kids as an excuse to call it a day. We come home face our backs and heave a sigh of relief. Tomorrow’s a fresh new day in a fresh new year.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
er, um, lemme think. I believe the day we were getting married, political parties decided they’d get divorced. So as a way of support, we decided it wouldn’t be fair to celebrate when the rest of them were falling apart.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
Cake? Oooo, a black forest 3 layered cake. Soft and moist with cherry pieces in between the fillings, and a bright red one on the very top. The chocolate shavings were crisp and buttery and soft, melting on our mouths, and … o wait. It’s a dream. Nope, no cake.

10. Where was your wedding?
On top of the hill where there’s fog in the mornings and there’s a crispness to the air. It was a romantic lovely place. Until TTD made a huge deal of it and changed it into a commercial money making tourist spot, to which we contribute religiously. (no pun intended)

11. What did you serve for the meal?
How do I know? I was hardly fed anything. Apparently brides ought starve. My grandma smuggled in some vada and upma, and despite me hating those things, they tasted delicious. Stolen food always tastes good!

12. How many people were in your bridal party?
Oh tons. I had no idea who half of them were. Everyone came and eyed me up and down. Then they went over and looked at him up and down. Then they came back and looked at me up and down. Then they told me “you are so lucky“. The other few I knew were completely doped and dazed after driving for 6 hours what originally should have been a 3 hour drive. They just tapped my shoulder and said “alright girl, see you back home” and went to sleep.

13. Are you still friends with them all?
With the ones who tapped my shoulder? Yes I guess, if we met again. I have no idea where each is. I could track each of them, but what’s the point?

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?
No. I didn’t either. Who cries at weddings anyway? Oh right, wait, it’s usually the mom. Did mine cry? Nope, she didn’t. We were a bunch o happy people. Crying indeed!

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
I guess am supposed to say when he slipped the ring on or tied the thali. But no. It was a fun moment. A bro form my side was supposed to do some little ritual along with me and by mistake a bro from his side got sucked into doing the whole thing, until one aunt started yelling “lord no, he’s the wrong brother!” We then repeated the whole thing, this time with the real bro from my side. At 3 am. I think there’s a snap of me and this fake bro giggling like crazy at the way the aunt screamed. That’s one very vivid image stuck in my head.

16. Any funny moments?

oops, didn’t I just say it? Now I am supposed to think of another one? Okay, let me think.

Oh yeah, the arundati star gazing thing. We had 2 priests. One from either side. My side’s priest’s a darling. He was the one who did my naming ceremony too, so the man’s fond of me and treats me like his daughter. His side was one heck of an aggressive fellow. Every 2 seconds he’d catch the nearest walking, rolling remotely resembling female and ask her to “bless” me and dump a kilo of the kumkum on my forehead. (That’s also the reason Ive buried my marriage album into the bowels of earth). In any case, the man drags us off to show us the star. He stood on the husband’s side and kept repeating “do you see, do you see“. The husband’s quite groggy by then and couldn’t care less for the star, but the boy scout that he was, wasn’t just about to lie and was judiciously following instructions. This is when my priest sneaks up behind us, and whispered to both of us “just say yes, and nod vigorously“. At this point, I pulled the husband’s hand and finger to another spot and said “There, it’s rt there! Don’t you see it?” and ribbed him in the process. Thankfully he got the hint, but he accuses me of ‘manhandling’ him to this day. *sigh.

17. Any big disasters?
Oh yes. One aunt lost her gold chain. A whole bus load of people couldn’t make it top of the hill because of the ‘bandh’ happening below (thank god!) and my mother-in-law was stuck at the ICU at the hospital a few hundred kilometers away.

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
Dad decided his daughter and son in law needed to get away from everyone (bless the man’s intentions) and sent us packing to Delhi and Agra. Yea. Go watch dead people’s tombs and while you’re at it, fall in love at the romantic Taj.

19. How long were you gone?
Too long if you ask me. Until of course we dumped the place (which decided to save electricty and send us into more heat), we were originally booked and walked into the Oberoi. A US Visa card did wonders those days.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
Me. As in perhaps have more fun than sit with a long face, and allowed to be made beautiful. (dumb 21 year old and principles I tell you!)

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right side.

22. What size is your bed?
Sizes? Yikes. No. Even beds. Nope, not saying. Period.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?
Our children.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?
Finding common ground apart from children. Yes, I know. We are normal.

25. Who literally pays the bills?
He does. I just produce them.

26. What is your song?
Song? I donno. Why should we have a song? I don’t have a song. He doesn’t have a song. Do we need a song? Don’t scare me this way now. We’re okay right? Right?

27. What did you dance your first dance to?
The hopscotch-jiving-stepping-on-hot-marble-without-footwear dance at the Taj mahal at 11 am at 50 degree temperatures.

28. Describe your wedding dress.
ooh yes, I can do this one. It was a bright mango yellow with a red border Benares silk sari.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
Jasmine (malle) all the way.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?
Nope. Don’t have any.
That doesn’t mean am not married, I very much am. He is also married. To me, in case you wondering, and that’s the way it shall be.