got gift?

We all know that the average male has issues with gift giving. Spending comes secondary to the whole dilemma on what to get. The choices are tremendous for the female. It isn’t even fair, and the head reels and spins on the various sub-categories on each. Then after awhile they (as in the husbands/long time boyfriends) quickly get the hang of it. They hand the credit card over.

Everyone’s happy.

Then one fine day, the husband’s insensitive manager at work decides to send the husband on an official trip. That’s when a monkey wrench is thrown into the works, and pretty much jettisons the man into a state of confusion.

He knows he is expected to bring something back. Going back home empty handed is not an option. The man stares at his obstacles:

  • The wife isn’t around to choose what she’d like.
  • There isn’t the usual female backup friend to drag along.
  • The place is alien to him. Sometimes the language is foreign.
  • He’s bombarded with more variety than he can imagine the need for.
  • He cannot go home with nothing.

Then he takes a decision. Any gift is better than no gift.

This is your average husband.

Just in case you wonder, there are other kinds of husbands too. The not so average ones ones. They are well-trained by the wives. Conditioned. Told in no uncertain terms on what they’d like and the color and the texture, sometimes even the price. These “trained” husbands go to Europe, and bring back silk scarves from Switzerland, boxes of chocolates from Belgium, perfumes form Paris, and even flowers at the airport they land in. Romancing the wife is how Pavlov had once envisioned. Love is always in the air.

Coming back to our average husband, the poor man comes home with a gift too. He brings the wife a tee shirt. One that is a size large, with the wife wondering if he remembers the body he shares his bed with. The tee is soft and made of cotton, and cozy. The wife decides she’d use it to sleep in. Extra large soft cotton tees with the words “Bruxelles” emblazoned across her chest do make excellent gifts. One that can be washed and worn and worn and washed for a long time to come.

Chocolates can only be savored so long, and perfumes can get overpowering, while flowers fade, and silk scarves can only be to worn to work on a dress-up-formal day. ..but cotton tees, we wear them all the time. They are simply perfect.


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18 replies on “got gift?”
  1. says: Apple

    Huhhhhh! Cotton tees are far better than reversely stiched tops, speech recognition s/w which doesn’t recognize telugu, vodka bottle, 5 KILOS of roasted cashews etc etc πŸ˜₯ Chacolates&Scarves are too much of expectations for me

  2. says: bg

    How sweet!Yeah chocolates,flowers and perfumes are cliched :-p though we don’t mind them as gifts.;-).
    Hey its the thought that counts right?? πŸ™‚

  3. says: rads

    Adithya: Bingo! πŸ˜€

    bg: hehe, sure, you’ll say that now won’t you? Talk to me after hmm.. 12 years πŸ˜›

    Apple: rofl@speech recog s/w – that’s hmm.. very thoughtful. Yea, so you’re no good as a ‘trainer’ too eh? πŸ˜€

    stitha: ..and how many females have you been buying gifts to? :O

    La vida: lol, true. Gift card is still restricting. The card’s an all entry pass everywhere! :p

  4. says: some body


    the superwife should send the average husband to florida. at least whatever written will be in english, along the lines of “my husband went to florida, and all he got me was this crummy t-shirt” πŸ˜‰

    talking of gifts, v.b.’s pal’s getting married, and (i thought*) she told me that pal’s daughter will pay for her “hmo.” i guess i am only an average husband, because i translated ‘hmo’ to mean “she’ll pay for her mother’s medical premiums for a year.” spank me with a wet noodle and call me an average husband!!

    – s.b.

    p.s.: she claims she said “hm” not “hmo”

  5. says: rads

    max: True. After awhile even surprises get boring.

    bookworm: Yep, as I said to bg, talk to me after 12 years :p
    Nope, haven’t seen it. Will do πŸ™‚

    sb: That’s pretty much what I was getting at ;-p

    rofl@hmo πŸ˜€

  6. says: Suki

    LOL! Now, form-fitting tee in a dangerously bright colour… THAT I hugely dig!
    But if it has to be a cotton tee a size too large, I’d rather pick it out of his almirah!

  7. The Universal Law of giving gifts to Women states that , “The appropriate gift for woman is the one that a man does not bring”. It is an unsolved mystery.

  8. says: rads

    Dinesh: Not entirely true. I have been thrilled a few times. The catch being ‘few’ πŸ™‚

    Shreya: hehe, just you wait girl, just you wait! πŸ™‚

    Praveen: Now there’s a plan B! πŸ™‚

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