Today’s not been so good. Mom called early morning to tell me that Dad’s got the pink eye, and the left eye was worse than the right, and that it’s been going on for 4 days. The antibiotic ointment didn’t help much, and now they were hoping that the drops would make a difference. She wanted my advice, and was looking for some consolation. This year hasn’t been too good for them, what with chicken gunya’s and flu’s and chills, and all that travel they needed to get done as part of various festivities, and obligations.
As dad was talking, out of the blue he says “why don’t you come here and finish up the Master’s program in Optometry? Then you can go back and practice. We are here to support you, can’t you come down just for 1 year?”
It took a huge effort for me not to break down.
I didn’t know if I had to correct his view on what was lacking, or if I should just play along and let him think of me as a snob not wanting to leave the comforts of our home. Considering my frame of mind these days, it was such a bad time for him to suggest anything remotely connected to my 9-5 existence.
It was dad’s dream for me.
It was my dream for me.
As I stand now thick in the middle of family, age, and responsibilities, so many questions hit me from various sides. Being 20 something was heaven. I am not much of a sentimentalist, but over the past few weeks thoughts of various kinds have been attacking me, regarding the choices I have made, some forced, some with no choice, some out of my own lacking. Some were made for me, those are easier to handle, just push the blame and wash your hands off after a good cry. Wish everything else could be panned off that easy…
Being at peace with what life’s handed you is not so hard. Ive done that. it’s what I want to do with myself hence on and how I shape the rest of me along with my sidekicks is the question.
Should career take over?
Money is important after all, right?
Is my sanity important enough?
Do I quit it all to stay home with my munchkin, just as I did with my earlier ones?
I have a late start compared to my peers, so do i risk pushing myself further down the lane?
I hate 9-5 restrictment, so will I ever be happy with whatever I choose?
Being an adult pretty much sucks.