Honesty Shmonesty {NaBloPoMo} Day 3

nablopomo

Nov. 3: If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?

This IS a trick question, right?

No?

Okay.

I am an honest person in general. I know not any other way to be. No, am not bragging. Neither do I wear it as a badge on my open heart, but I do cringe in parts when I wish I wasn’t. Not because I regret it but because being honest is one thing and being brutally honest (and invariably scathing) is another.

Over the past few months, I’ve grown increasingly aware and accepting in a way that I am completely at peace with what I do and my decisions and actions based on them decisions. You may think, really, aren’t we all?

No. not at all. Many of us are not.

We live in a world of validation. The degree could vary but we all seek validation. Some personally, and some professionally but we are one heaving tangled mass of humans knotted together in expectations, validations and the consequences of it all.

It’s all a bloody game if you ask me.

One where there is no one loser or winner but we all take turns in this game of chess.

Coming back to the question:

Age does a number on you. No pun intended. 

There is emotional maturity, there is intelligence, there is learned skills and there is natural shields and then there are ethics.

But what age does is that it takes it all, makes a potpourri of it and then it balls it all into a big ball of zen It forces you to this place of acceptance. Acceptance WITHOUT any related emotion, except that of LAISSEZ-FAIRE. 

In this context it means that I simply am continuing to be nothing but honest, even if am on trial, through tricky or silly situations but WITHOUT ANY KOND OF LESSENING OR BELITTLING EMOTION attached to it.

I am honest. It ends there.

What has changed over time is HOW am honest. There is a slight difference. The only 2 questions I ask when faced with this question is:

  1. Does it matter? 
  2. Does it benefit him/her or the situation?

I remove ME from the equation. Coz am not relevant at that point. Being expressive is different and am expressive of what I am only with a handful and that’s slowly becoming a couple even perhaps.

So does that mean I lie?

No way.

I simply operate on a NEED To KNOW basis. 🙂

  • If it helps them, I opine.
  • If it will help make the situation better, I opine.
  • If it will not help the situation, I don’t opine.
  • If it helps me, I don’t opine, coz I know anyway.

Being honest is a slippery road as age will tell you. One never knows. Err on the side of caution coz the world is filled with more talkers than listeners. And honestly, no one cares but for themselves.

YOLO.

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2 Comments

  • I work on the advice my dad gave me “If you have nothing nice to say, dont say it no matter how much you may want to”. Works for me although sometimes I have to bite my tongue literally to keep the words from falling out!

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