on demand

When I started writing way back in 2005, it was mostly driven by my need to spend time recording, using this space as a sounding board and wanting some me-time from the drudgery and mundane life of a stay at home mom. The writing has changed over the years in clarity, thoughts and my personality seeping through differently based on how much aware I got on who the audience got. Sometimes I didn’t care and at other times it mattered.

The topics have been pretty much on whatever struck my fancy. There wasn’t any structure, rhyme or rhythm. Free-spirited as any long time reader would vouch for. The randomness of topics and the extent at which I can run with something really innocuous as a typo or an incident that wouldn’t be awared much of a thought in an average woman’s life. I say this with a smile, coz I have at times amazed myself as to what I can do with a small thought. I am not smug about the fact, and in fact it borders on being ridiculous. I am told it’s perhaps an art. That I can create substance out of very little. It’s all good. Then again, our brain is a monkey.

Some of us have the luxury of being steady. To stay focused, with blinders on. Passionate about that one thing that ticks you and you go gung ho digging deep into it. Like foodbloggers, mommy bloggers, the gardeners, the techsters, gadgetfreaks. ..and then there are folks like me. a mixed bag.

I marvel and seriously am in awe of their dedication to blog about their mainstream thought and not succumb to their other wayward thoughts in writing.

In any case, now that I have rambled far and wide enough, the original thought on what I wanted to accomplish in the post was me and my not-so-targeted writing. Yeah. Not the nice little prompts that one can choose from,but more on the lines of “this is the topic, and you got to write on it* sorts. Like the kind SAT essays are made of.

Now *that* my friend is a hard task for me.

Not because am at a loss for words or thoughts. (I mean, unless its politics of extreme code of the crazy software kind, I have an opinion on everything else under the sun. I do have an opinion on those too, but then I can’t fill a writing piece just on expletives and blatant IDonnoWhatThHeckYouGuysAreGoingOnAbout.) The issue is to unravel the mess in my head and make it into a readable coherent piece is the challenge.

What I lack is focus. For the longest time, I’ve been telling myself I have ADD. Romanticizing the concept of  “Jane of all trades, master of none” concept. I have *finally* accepted the fact that ADD or not, I enjoy the luxury of varied interests and having the courage and inertia to experiment with what catches my fancy. I am also told, kindly, that very few of us are bestowed with such liberties. I for one, believe that. To not wallow in self-pity, guilt and remorse on the choices one makes of their life is indeed a blessing.

That said however, the mind indeed aspires for what it has still not achieved in its own scale.

That is why this post exists. To assert and hope that I will be able to stick with a topic that is given to me and do justice to it. Not succumb for my distracted mind, with its whims and responsibilities alike, stay focused and relevant to the topic or issue in hand.

I’ll understand if you *shakeYourHead* at me and walk away. We all fight our own battles of expectations.




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12 replies on “on demand”
  1. says: Gradwolf

    Hahah well played Mr.Bhel with the PS!

    You started in 2005? I thought you were like Anantha en al who discovered blogging way back in 2003 or something!

    Go all meta and write about how ppl don’t write anymore.

  2. says: A&N

    I think you write really well and that’s all that matters. Nothing else does. Whether you write everyday or about one topic or lack focus, that doesn’t always show in your writing. Yes, sometimes, lack of a singular theme shows, but you have a wonderful way of bringing things together. Like that Twitter post.

  3. says: chutney

    Topics and themes are over rated.
    You write wonderfully, and that’s all that matters 🙂

    PS : I STARTED IN 2005 TOOO! write a post about how awesome people who started blogging in 2005 are. 😀

  4. says: rads

    aww, what a pleasant surprise seeing all the besties from yesteryears here! 🙂

    Gradwolf: heh, no, 05 it was, when munchkin was a year old and I got all crabby sitting at home changing diapers. 🙂

    A&N: I know what you mean, but somehow I’ve gotten it in my head that I need refinement. It’s late in the game but that’s what it is. We’ll see how long I can stay on track 🙂

    Chutney: LOL, you must have been such a baby starting 6 yrs ago! My daughter doesn’t have the time to do her school essays! But no denying that blogging’s helped in more ways than the social networking part..

    Thanks for the topic suggestions, I may just run with them! :-))

  5. says: Bharathy

    Loved reading the post! (you write so well!)..
    I started blogging in 2007 and had been sporadic throughout. Just like what you ‘d said, I used to watch with awe how dedicated my fellow bloggers were.. most them who started of late were busy celebrating their 100th-200th posts 😉

    Commercialising the blog helps a lot. It was a sensible decision which kicks me when ever I laze out..

    Love your photo blog! simply superb!

    1. says: rads

      Thanks Bharathy for reading both my blogs.
      Filling space is not an issue. WP just tells me I’ve written my 602nd post – averaging 100 a year I guess. It’s filling it with focus is what I was talking about. WP does not allow for commercializing now does it? I’ve seen most of you foodies having ads. Helps (again) when u have a subject blog 🙂

  6. says: amutha ramakrishnan

    focus does not always make for interesting reads. Yours are very very enjoyable. I am more often than not slow to take up new ideas and rages, be it the computer itself. Facebook, twitter, blogging go without saying. looks like I have missed out on a lot of things. 2005 seems ages ago. You’ve hit on a fab way to make use of time, to keep focused and stay interested. Good for you!

    1. says: rads

      Amutha, first off it’s really heartening to see you take time to read and comment. 🙂

      Regd new things, Ive always believed that unless we step outside of our comfort zone, we donot develop another angle/phase or dimension to ourselves, and ultimately we are here on earth a short while. Its good to experience as much as we can and are allowed to. I’ve realized this in retrospect of crse but I also will be the first one to admit that this kind of traipsing away comes naturally to some and some is forced.
      You haven’t missed much, you’ve just lived differently and perhapsnow you will be open to what else is out there, a little at a time at your own pace.

      Ive reached a plateau now on this blog/writing. Slight modifications need to be made. 🙂

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