someone shoot me

No seriously.

Am an idiot. A complete can’t-keep-my-big-mouth-shut idiot. I am like what one would call “aa bayl, mujhey maar” especially for all that I’ve signed up for this weekend. Starting in a few hours I will be a woman on wheels. Not the kind I went traisping around giving circus daredevils a run for their job, but the one that only yours truly as an idiot can sign up for thrusting myself into spiels of energiser bunny mode.

So what did I not shut my mouth about and sign up for? Here’s the list.

1. Offered to do 10 rudrakshamalas for the munchkin’s sunday class, so they’d all look cutesy signing ‘Subrahmanyam, subrahmanyam’ . Not the real kind, but fakesters. Got a bucket of beads last weekend, and managed to get 8 done, realized the buckets are assortments of colors and shapes, so now I need to color the beads enmass or go buy another fresh bucket of which I’d use 10% of the specific color of beads. Ran out of yarn, so that’s a stop on the way home.

2. The teachers decide blue pavadais/skirts for all, then switch to maroon. I am all for maroon, but catch being munchkin has no maroon silk skirt. It’s sad, really. The older one used to be flooded with pretty ones, and this girl’s the more fancy one and none of what she has fits her. Am still scrambling to put together an outfit by Sunday. Sister thinks am an idiot [ok, so what’s new] for succumbing to such pressures, and insists I get other moms to scramble instead. I don’t like to say no, or get into a confrontation[which is what it is teeterring on, after I sent a hesitant email to the teacher on my life’s schedule after major badgering from sister, to which I get a passive-aggressive “do whatever you want” reply], so I suffer in silence.

3. Daughter has an MC final run scheduled 15 miles away at the noble King’s place right after munchkin’s ballet lesson and I have 15 minutes to get there. Directly. Which means I schlep food along with a change of dress for munchkin, which also means a very cranky daughter can’t laze Saturday morning [the only luxury she has acc to her] and has to be up and running at 8.

4. Son’s signed up for a State Chess tournament and needs to be at the center at 8.30 am, which means a chaotic morning and the household should be burning engines by 7 am. Which in itself is a challenge, but it’s chess, he may just surprise me. In effect, there goes my morning time.

5. Signed up for an e-vendanta class [which itself is debatable as to what I am doing there in the first place] that takes off this evening say oh, a good 18 miles the other way. This is where my first pearl of nincompoopery appears. The host said she’s making some prasadam. I wrote an email offering to help [I truly was possessed], she says sure, 10-12 folks are landing. So now, am twiddling my thumbs on what I can make at all. I suck at snacks., and she’s covered rotis, sabji, rice and sooji halwa. I am thinking I will just make panakam. Yeah! As much as folks are gonna wrinkle their noses at it, it’s divinity personified! No?

6. Have a potluck we couldn’t squirm out of Saturday evening for which I’ve been chosen to make a 5 quart vessel of Aviyal. Apparently the last time I made it, it was finger-smacking and they want me to replicate it. That’s a scary thought, as my cooking is purely a little this and a little that, no standards maintained, so everytime a dish is made, its a surprise to me and luck of the draw for the guests.

7. Daughter has her dear friend’s bat mitzvah the very same evening and insists she has nothing in her closet she could wear to the event. So there’s a trip to the mall for the gift and outfit squeezed in somewhere that afternoon and not to mention shoes. O, how could we forget the shoes.

8. Just realized this morning that am growing a unibrow faster than the weeds around the mailbox. Suddenly our area is gone scarce of threaders. There’s one lonely woman who operates on Fridays alone. She thankfully offered to squeeze me in at 5.15 pm, which blows an easy 45 minutes, which gives me 30 minutes to fix dinner. Maybe I’d just shove the new Panda Express menu under husband’s nose and bid a sweet goodbye as I drive off into the sunset and vedantam.

9. Time’s changing on Sunday and there would be utter chaos if all us have to be dressed to the tee and land at the center by 9 am sharp. The girl will fuss over her langa voni and her hair, son will have issues with his long kurta sleeves, husband will drag his office wear out from the dearths of the closet, while munchkin will insist on a dupatta on her skirt. Oh, I forgot me. Magically all my blouses would’ve shrunk overnight even if I do try them on the day before. No, I do not balloon, the blouse shrinks. ..and am sticking to it.

10. The grand nincompoop act of all, I couldn’t shutup and signed up to make puris for the event. The smart women took trays of alu curry, channa and some daal, and the puri sign-up sheet stood all sad, alone and near-empty. The co-ordinator who’s a friend, grinned knowingly at me and we both threw our names in with reckless abandon and took double doses of what’s assigned. So yes, yours truly will be frying 300 puris waking up at 6 am [which is 5 am normally] in the morning. Oh well, someone’s going to have to do it, 500 folks aren’t just gonna eat vegetables alone.

11. Sunday afternoon will find me at work, kids working on their individual projects to be completed and a very unhappy husband going cuckoo at home.

Yes, am ready. Shoot me.

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35 replies on “someone shoot me”
  1. says: Praveen

    Well I guz the ladies knw what Rads is all abt, leaving the puri sign-up sheet all alone for u to fill it.

    Good luck for the blitzkrieg weekend 🙂 I cant wait for another “zipping thru” post here cmg up next week. 😀

  2. says: Pavan

    I dont mind helping you out of this (by shooting, to clarify) but first, could you plz give the addresses of the places mentioned where food is served? would make my weekend 😛

    PS: this post reminds me of the the title of a brit comedy “yes minister”

  3. says: Apar

    oh boy!! this just brings a wide grin on my face 🙂 I remember going outfit-gift shopping with a teen (of course shoes too!!) and ended up thanking God for not listening to my prayers to give me a girl that day!! LOL!!
    Can see a lot of me in this blog too..I would have done the same, signing up for puris and taking on a lot more on my plate than I ever could!!
    Hope you managed the whole weekend!
    I esp love the no I did not balloon, the blouses shrink bit 😉

  4. says: Melody

    Heya, came over from the comment you left over at my blog and —-

    PHEW!!! Was tired just *reading* everything. Lol.

    PS: Couldn’t understand half of the words – what language?

  5. says: rads

    Melody: Oh yes, The Hannah Montana one!

    I knew that bit about getting tired reading was coming from at least one of my readers! If it’s any consolation, thinking and blogging about it was tiring as ever! 😛

    Telugu dear 🙂

    Apar: lol. Well, you’ve heard of the saying “if u can’t beat ’em, join them?” That’s what I do, I shop along with her too. There have been instances when the daughter has stopped me 😉

    Come back next week for an update 🙂

    Pavan: Yes Minister was soooo coool! Loved the show!
    Hop on over across a coupla time zones :p

    Praveen: See, I knew you folks enjoyed my escapade on the hiway. *sniff!

  6. says: loga

    Aah u seem to be like super woman to me 😉
    now i need panakam and aviyal..both are my favourites always 🙂

  7. says: rads

    DS: As Ive obviously not said enough “When you want to do something bad enough, you will find the time to do it.” – simple mantra. 🙂

    Loga: Na, no super woman, just someone who kids herself into doing it all, and enjoying it. Sure thing, come on over 🙂

  8. says: rads

    Loga: The spirit doesn’t have too much of a choice, or rather shouldn’t be shown choices. It morphs into the devil! 😈


    BPSK: Thank you, It isn’t icy rains, so some relief. 🙂

  9. says: bApHoMEt

    How long will this juggling act last (note: the complicated attempt at sarcasm alluding to circus daredevils)?

    Seriously, more than half of your problems can be solved by putting your foot down. And a lot of others can be solved by dumping them on your husband. 😉

  10. says: rads

    Baph: I am a drama queen. All this is just me spinning yarns. The husband pitches in more than any others I know of around.
    I am pampered and spoilt. How else could you explain my active blogging lifestyle?

    There, my secret is out.

  11. Wow! You do live! But to tell you the truth, instead of feeling sympathetic, I was laughing aloud, like most of the other readers. My apologies.

    I’m a big “Yes Minister” and “Yes Prime Minister” fan too. I remember one episode where the plot centers around a British nurse arrested in an Islamic country called “Qumran”

    Master of Bailey College: Oh, it’s such an awful country. People get their hands cut off and women get stoned when they commit adultery.

    Sir Humphrey: Unlike in Britain, where they commit adultery when they get stoned.

  12. says: guruprasad


    some people just love doing this to themselves 😛

    and i don’t blame the hubby for losing his cool… but i’m sure he knows you by now 🙂

    my only regret is that you are 7 seas away, else i could have asked you to baby sit my devils while the big boss and i catch up on some movies over the weekend 😛

    p.s. the e-vdeanta course is very good! in fact we are doing it as a weekly study class. you could try doing that too.

  13. says: some body

    300 puris on sunday morning! fry me for an oyster and strike me down with a wet noodle!!

    how about making a few more – what’s 30 more puris between friends, plus it is a nice round number – and fedexing down south? *runs away fast before the lady can find a broom or something to throw at him*

    – s.b.

  14. says: rads

    sb: Making is not an issue, with the weather the way it is, forget eating, you could instead use them as sharp flying frisbees, or if you had a loose tooth, my puri could help lessen the pain. 🙂

    Sirop: You are a sweetheart for understanding! You deserve the 1st place for a perfect comment 🙂

    Guru: Yesyes, there’s a term: masochist 😛
    You right, it’s hard surprising the man anymore. 🙂

    really? evedanta good eh? Will mail ya.

    MayG: of course I will. Am about to embark on that aviyal and a coorg style of sari wearing, so will let you know 😉

    Naren: Thank you for not sympathising! I wasn’t looking for it at all, so no apology needed. Really 🙂
    Funny how everyone thinks this is a lot. Sure it’s packed, but am one among others who manage to it all, and we thrive on this.
    Ask me to sit at home twiddling my thumbs and I’d go nuts. Seriously. There’s just so much precious life and time that it’s a shame not being productive.
    This is a freak wkend, but hey, what’s life when you knew the next step all the way don’t you think? 🙂

    Brit comedies are a class apart. love ’em.

    SK: But of course. Am taking a break now, mall shopping done too. Got me a pretty scarf as a bonus for the dress daughter got at Forever 21 😉

  15. says: some body


    i still remember the last time someone left a comment asking me to e-mail them (sorry for the americanized grammar – this way i do not need to disclose gender of said person). oh well, i will bite the bullet.

    – s.b.

  16. says: some body


    “if you had a loose tooth”

    send us some puris stat. kiddo’s teeth (that’s plural) have been teetering on the edge for eons. i/we possess neither the fortitude nor the wherewithal to knock (or string) them out. 😉

    these teeth have withstood local puris and half-baked frozen parathas. from what you write, your puris – our last resort – should knock ’em out, and the tooth fairy might bestow some kickback upon you! anything to save a visit to the dentist!!! 😉

    – s.b.

  17. says: rads

    Praveen: What’s that mean? Chaya..?

    sb: oh alright, you asked for it! 🙂

    That very loaded statement above “I still remember the last time..” speaks volumes on the gender and the repercussions of it :-p

  18. says: Shreya

    I’m guessing, by now, you’d be done with the killer bits of it. Hopefully, you haven’t signed up for a “Let me bake you some cookies, kids” event, and are putting your feet up. 🙂

  19. says: Silvara

    wow….i cannot imagine doing all that – 300 puris??!! (mmm puris :P)

    You silly goose – but i know you probably secretly enjoy it all 😛

  20. says: rads

    Silvara: lol, I didn’t while I was your age either. The future’s a real trip I tell ya 🙂

    Yes, I actually do. *sheepish grin*

  21. says: Ok

    A complete women;). Balancing your work, your kids, your kids classmates, neighbour’s kids and all the kids in the Bronx neighborhood:).

  22. says: rads

    Vijay: Multitasking is like a mom’s middle name. If we don’t, we are sunk. Really. 🙂

    OK: LOL. As long as you are back, no worries. Hope all’s well 🙂

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