on loyalties

Recently this word has been circling in my head. It came out of the blue and it’s refusing to leave. One of those times when there’s a bee in your bonnet , and refuses to get thrown out unless you stare it in the face, and listen to it. Not that am huge or low on loyalty, but it just came up. Like a bad penny. More similar words crept up. Faithful, Staunch, Resolute, Conscientious.

Definitions of Loyalties spanned and defined itself as feelings that one has towards a group, affiliation, cause, or product. For some reason I’ve almost always associated Loyalty towards a country. Recently of course, I’ve allowed it to include to the Redskins, Giants, and the Indian Cricket Team. Apart from such huger ideals and significances in our lives, I have also come to realize that Loyalty somehow along the way has become a virtue. Not an essential, but a virtue that some may or may not strive for.

Does it matter, to be loyal to your favorite breakfast cereal, I’d imagine it would be more of a habit than loyalty. Does it matter whom you defend in the elections coz of who they are, and not for what they stand? That’s of larger things we speak.

In normal everyday life, does loyalty matter? As adults, do we make a conscious effort to strive and remain true to what we believe despite the inconveniences it may land us in. Is it something that we have sub-consciously grown out of? Thinking back, as children it didn’t matter how the outcome affected us, we liked something, we loved it, we stood by it. You cheer for it when the goings good, and you mope when it’s down. As versatile the child’s brain is, so it is resilient.

Lofty words, meanings, rationalisations. As adults, we can just about rationalise anything, and any behavior ours or others to make it work for us. It requires a little switch of of the view and a healthy dose of self-preservation. The Id  races ahead of it all.

If someone thought the above was deep, am sorry, but those few lines above is what I mean by classic BS.  Id has nothing to do with Loyalty! At least I don’t think so. It’s a rambling thought process..

On a quest of understanding the whole meaning behind why one would hold onto an idea, a cause despite common sense propelling the person to head towards the exit, I could only chalk it to the feelings of being true, being faithful, being loyal and above all following your inner voice.  

loyalty as the willingness to make an investment or personal sacrifice to strengthen a relationship.

I liked this line. It suits me. Satisfies me and rationalises my behavior, and behaviors of a few others around me.

Like for example this is what happened Sunday morning on our way back from Chinmaya mission.

Family of 5 settled in and driving home. Music starts. Its a collection of recent hindi hits.

Son: Can we change the CD pleeeeaaaaase?
Daughter: No way! I like this song. [Soulful Saawariya songs are her thing now]
Son: No, it’s boring, can we listen to the radio at least? Just switch to CD 3 otherwise. Please mom?
Mom: Ok, wait till this song is over? [am partial to the songs too]
Husband: Son, We are almost home. Can we just let the girls be?
Son: arghhh!

10 seconds later.

Munchkin: Dad, please can we change the CD?
Daughter: O, comon! We are almost home ok?
Munchkin: [higher pitch and with a pout] Pleaaase dad. Change the CD? Please please please?
Husband: [a sucker for the pout and munchkin’s please, looks at me] Change it, how can I deny her look, look at her face. [gleaming fatherly pride through the rearview]
Daughter: arghhhhh
Me: Ok fine!

[Music changes]

Munchkin: [Turns her neck around to look at bro] Are you happy now Anna?
Daughter – ohmygod! That is so not fair!!! You don’t even like this music!
Husband and I: [Exchange looks in stupified astonishment and well, for the lack of any better reaction, laugh, grin and pull into the driveway.]

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17 replies on “on loyalties”
  1. says: cydonian

    That’s what you get when you have a mixed-kids home-environment. In that all boys-environment that was home, my kid-brother would go to mom complaining, thus setting an avalanche of incriminations and recriminations which, as all such things go, usually culminated in a mutually-agreeable pounding session at the back of the car.

    Ahhh, my brother. Love him to death.

  2. loyalty – the quality that one appeals to in one’s employee when one cannot match the other guy’s offer.
    – the quality that makes one’s old friends drop in on one, even when there’s no party happening.
    – the quality that makes one’s dog lick one’s hand even after one has kicked his butt.

  3. says: rads

    Terri: They each have, just that we don’t encourage the gadgets on every trip. This was a short ride.

    Naren: lol@matching offers 🙂

    Cyd: True. Munchkin’s 3 going on 13 these days.

    Baph: Yep, she’s getting to be quite the crafty lil thing.

    Naveen: LOL, yes, my son and munchkin are quite the cartoon pair. Daughter jokes that she’s gonna cash in on their antics and rake in the dough!

    Kid: way too deep pa 😛

  4. says: Jam

    You know what this whole post makes me rethink quite a few occassions in life where I haven’t given loyalty its due. Like the times when I’ve just smiled at Aishwarya Rai’s absolutely crappy acting and performances, b coz I was “loyal” to her. Like when I’ve pretty much not hidden anything at all from my mom coz I am “loyal” to her. Like when I make mistakes and then go ahead and confess them coz I am “loyal” to telling myself the truth.

    I dunno, this is a funny thing, this loyalty business. Interesting food for thought though!!!


    PS: Would love more Munchkin stories, she seems to be the kind of little girl anybody would want to love.

  5. says: rads

    Pilgrim: Munchkin is a cat on the wall. 😉

    SK: Yeah, have a record of it somwhere at least 🙂

    Jam: Aish’s worked her way, folks have a hard time looking past her skin. Prejudged notions etc.
    Yeah, I have a few down on munchkin, will write more on her. Please keep in mind that all antics by someone else’s kid are always love-able 🙂

    BPSK: I guess she will be 🙂

  6. says: usha

    We have all done that at one time or other haven’t we – used the teacher’s pet to get something or the youngest sibling to twist our parents – now it is receiving time!
    And I strongly suspect you have a negotiations guru in the making in her. 🙂

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