ode to the oat

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ol' oats

 

I lived a royal life
The menu included.
Pancakes with dripping maple goo
Belgian waffles topped
With blueberries and cream too.

Dosas edged in oil
Chutneys, sambar and potatoes boiled
Puris marched down the gullet
Along goes the cloying rasmalai ballet

The annual exam leaped at me
The doc arrived before I could flee
With a raise of the eyebrow
She scowled.

“Doc, It’s these pants I swear!
They weigh a ton” I despair

“Meet your new friend: Oats”
“Coats?”
“No, Oats.”
“Oh, like the one they feed the goats?”
“Yes dear, the very same.”
“Could I bleat my way out?” I whined
At her receding behind.

I eat my oats
The variety boggles my mind
There’s the dry kind
Then the goo a baby spits up
The one that’s soured in orange rind
Bananas, apples and yogurt
Spiced with green chillies and cumin
The husband chided: It’s all in your mind.

I now am the Celtic Irish
Eating the fibrous-protein by spoonfuls
“die LDL die”
Wallowing my way through the bowlfuls

My heart’s a thumping
My sugar’s a waning
Unheard and unseen, 
Sitting in it’s silent dark cave
My 4 inch parched tongue is however,
Crying.

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17 Comments

  1. says: gauri

    ROFL…nice one!

    Looks like the camera has increased the oats’ worth
    Much as you feel there’s some flavor’s dearth
    But heck, it’s rapidly reducing the girth
    Probably the best thing that’s happening on earth!
    Hang in there girl…a few more days, and you can indulge in some mirth 😉

    -g

  2. says: rads

    Nandini: Tried Oat dosa? 😀

    GDS: heh, am beginning to ‘like’ it too 🙂

    Rachna: Thanks! The camera’s just starting to listen to me!

    gauri: That was awesome!! haha 🙂

    naren: heh. No rhyme for me? 😛

  3. says: chronicworrier

    Did you notice how the snowflakes falling into the bowl of oats makes a charming picture?

    Oh wait, your new camera saw that already.
    😀

  4. says: rads

    mummyjaan: Yes they are, just being dramatic thatsall 🙂

    Sachita: LOL! I had no idea that’s thavadu 🙂

    Yep, the recipe’s quite nice. I have been mixing stuff around. They frankly aren’t bad at all. Acquired taste 🙂

    Praveen: Thanks! You like oats? Sitting in India? When idlis and dosas are flying around you?
    :O *gasp*

  5. says: rads

    Ashwin: Thank you!!! heh, yea, planning on just posting here for what I write :)Check my flickr page?

    Whencutdeep: hehe, somebody has to get it :p

    diplai: That’s very nice!! :))
    Thanks and Happy New year Dipali! 🙂

  6. Oat…goat! ROFL…..!

    Okay…..
    Then there is this muck called muesli,
    I never look at it but obtusely,
    A bowl of crushed pigeon droppings
    What with a few raisin toppings
    Can’t call it food even loosely.

    Ewk!

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